SpongeBob - Is Mayonnaise an Instrument
38 lines · 2:18 · 646×480
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About this scene
Squidward's first band practice, and thirty-eight lines of it going wrong. Patrick asks whether mayonnaise is an instrument, then whether horseradish is one, and the joke only works because Squidward answers both questions seriously. Ten of the thirty-seven handoffs overlap, so the heckling lands inside his instructions rather than after them, and the middle of the pack is a genuine brawl. What makes it hard to dub is the range asked of one voice: Squidward opens patient, gets through “fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you”, and still needs something left for the flag twirlers at the end. Two minutes eighteen, and the funniest line in it is an announcement about a white sedan.
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The full script, so you know what you are getting into before you press record.
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00:00 Larry The Lobster practice begins tonight 8 30 sharp
- 00:04 SquidWard
stupid music rental clerk made me late
- 00:07 SquidWard
that trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow
- 00:10 SquidWard
he elbow he more ban humor
- 00:19 SquidWard
People People Settle Down
- 00:21 SquidWard
okay now
- 00:22 SquidWard
how many of you have played musical instruments before
- 00:26 Plankton
do instruments of torture count
- 00:28 SquidWard
No
- 00:28 Patrick
is mayonnaise an instrument
- 00:31 SquidWard
no patrick mayonnaise is not an instrument
- 00:35 SquidWard
horseradish is not an instrument either
- 00:38 SquidWard
that's fine no one has any experience
- 00:41 SquidWard
fortunately, i have enough talent for all of you
- 00:44 SquidWard
(Laughing)
- 00:52 MrKrabs
when do we get the free food
- 00:54 SquidWard
okay try to repeat after me (Deep Breath in)
- 01:00 SquidWard
bra section go
- 01:04 SquidWard
now the wind
- 01:07 SquidWard
and the drums
- 01:12 SquidWard
too bad that didn't kill me
- 01:15 SquidWard
let's just try stepping in rhythm
- 01:18 SquidWard
now i want everyone to stand in straight rows of five
- 01:21 Spongebob
is this the part where we start kicking
- 01:23 SquidWard
no spongebob that's a chorus line
- 01:25 Patrick
kicking oh i want to do some kicking
- 01:28 Patrick
(Kicking Noise)
- 01:29 Sandy
Why You
- 01:31 Sandy
Why i outta
- 01:31 Patrick
(Fighting Noises)
- 01:37 Patrick
(Screaming)
- 01:45 Patrick
whoever's the owner of the white sedan you left your lights on
- 02:03 SquidWard
okay that's perfect everybody
- 02:06 SquidWard
Bubble Bowl here we come
- 02:08 SquidWard
flat twirlers really spin those things
- 02:10 SquidWard
okay turn
- 02:13 SquidWard
flag twirlers let's go i want to see some spinning
- 02:16 SquidWard
flag twirlers let's move come on
