ChoicerVoicer

Key & Peele - Block Auction

44 lines · 2:02 · 1280×720

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Key & Peele - Block Auction

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All lines

    About this scene

    The Key & Peele sketch where two men at a slave auction grow progressively offended that nobody is bidding on them. The whole joke lives in the pivot — righteous defiance in the opening lines melting into wounded professional jealousy — so the flatter you play the analysis ('massive individual', 'the criteria seems a little inconsistent'), the harder it lands. The auctioneer's sing-song 'going once, twice, three times, sold' is the metronome that holds all 44 lines together.

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    1. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:00 — Auction Host 00:00 Auction Host “What a beautiful, and blessed day, for an auction. Alright, y'all, get on up there.”
    2. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:09 — Key 00:09 Key “Put that whip down and see what happens, though.”
    3. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:11 — Peele 00:11 Peele “Straight up, I don't care what plantation I end up on, I'm straight staging a revolt in this motherf*****.”
    4. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:17 — Key 00:17 Key “Hells yeah.”
    5. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:18 — Auction Host 00:18 Auction Host “We have lot A, lot B and lot C.”
    6. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:22 — Bidder 1 00:22 Bidder 1 “'Uh, 3 dollars on lot A.', '4 dollars.', '5.'”
    7. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:25 — Auction Host 00:25 Auction Host “5 dollars going once, twice, three times, sold. Lot A goes to the man in the black hat.”
    8. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:36 — Peele 00:36 Peele “I mean, good.”
    9. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:37 — Key 00:37 Key “Yeah.”
    10. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:38 — Peele 00:38 Peele “I'm glad I didn't get sold, 'cause I don't want to be owned by another human being. ”
    11. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:42 — Key 00:42 Key “Whoever buys me, they better kill me the first day, or I'ma go buck-wild on the whole operation.”
    12. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:46 — Peele 00:46 Peele “Okay.”
    13. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:47 — Auction Host 00:47 Auction Host “Next one, get up on up there, now.”
    14. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:55 — Bidder 1 00:55 Bidder 1 “'6 dollars on lot A.', '7 dollars.', '8', '9',”
    15. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 00:59 — Auction Host 00:59 Auction Host “9 dollar going once, twice, three times, sold.”
    16. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:04 — Key 01:04 Key “Okay, well you have to buy that dude.”
    17. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:06 — Peele 01:06 Peele “It's a no brainer.”
    18. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:07 — Key 01:07 Key “I mean that guy's huge.”
    19. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:08 — Peele 01:08 Peele “Massive individual.”
    20. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:09 — Key 01:09 Key “That's two of me.”
    21. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:10 — Peele 01:10 Peele “Anybody would buy him.”
    22. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:11 — Key 01:11 Key “I'd buy that dude.”
    23. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:12 — Peele 01:12 Peele “My question is, how did they catch him?”
    24. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:14 — Auction Host 01:14 Auction Host “Next.”
    25. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:16 — Key 01:16 Key “Oh, okay.”
    26. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:19 — Bidder 1 01:19 Bidder 1 “'Two dollars on lot A.'”
    27. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:21 — Auction Host 01:21 Auction Host “Two dollars going once, twice, three times sold.”
    28. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:24 — Peele 01:24 Peele “See now, that surprises me.”
    29. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:25 — Key 01:25 Key “That is interesting to say the least.”
    30. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:27 — Peele 01:27 Peele “I mean, well, it just seems like at a certain point, it's like, do they even know what they're looking for?”
    31. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:31 — Key 01:31 Key “I mean, it's like the whole criteria seems just a little inconsistent.”
    32. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:34 — Peele 01:34 Peele “I mean at some point, I want to be on lot A.”
    33. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:37 — Key 01:37 Key “Yeah, can a brother get on lot A?”
    34. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:39 — Auction Host 01:39 Auction Host “Next.”
    35. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:43 — Key 01:43 Key “Oh, here we go.”
    36. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:44 — Peele 01:44 Peele “Here we go. It's been a pleasure.”
    37. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:45 — Key 01:45 Key “Give them hell.”
    38. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:46 — Bidder 1 01:46 Bidder 1 “'8 dollars on lot A.'”
    39. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:48 — Auction Host 01:48 Auction Host “Going once, twice, three times, sold.”
    40. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:50 — Peele 01:50 Peele “How does that happen?”
    41. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:50 — Key 01:50 Key “Nope, not true what you just said- that's gobbledygook. Okay, that can't be true because what can this dude do. Look at him, what can he pick? A cotton plant is like this tall.”
    42. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:51 — Peele 01:51 Peele “How does it happen?”
    43. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 01:58 — Key 01:58 Key “No offense, brotha, I'm just saying.”
    44. Key & Peele - Block Auction at 02:00 — Person 02:00 Person “Offense taken.”

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