ChoicerVoicer

Steamed Hams

41 lines · 2:49 · 1280×720

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Steamed Hams

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All lines

    About this scene

    Two minutes and forty-nine seconds of one man digging a hole and the other letting him. Forty-one lines, twenty-one Skinner and eighteen Chalmers, and only two of them overlap — the rare pack where everyone waits their turn, which makes the pauses the hard part rather than the pace. Skinner has to lie eight separate times without once raising his voice; Chalmers has to keep giving him the chance. The Aurora Borealis line is one unbroken shout, and it arrives with thirty seconds still to go.

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    Every line in this pack

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    1. Steamed Hams at 00:03 — Superintendent 00:03 Superintendent Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
    2. Steamed Hams at 00:06 — Skinner 00:06 Skinner Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
    3. Steamed Hams at 00:11 — Superintendent 00:11 Superintendent Meh.
    4. Steamed Hams at 00:14 — Skinner 00:14 Skinner [Gasp]
    5. Steamed Hams at 00:16 — Skinner 00:16 Skinner Oh 'Ye Gods! My roast is ruined!
    6. Steamed Hams at 00:20 — Skinner 00:20 Skinner But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking?
    7. Steamed Hams at 00:26 — Skinner 00:26 Skinner Ho ho ho ho ho! Delightfully devilish, Seymour!
    8. Steamed Hams at 00:32 — Superintendent 00:32 Superintendent Ah-
    9. Steamed Hams at 00:47 — Superintendent 00:47 Superintendent SEEEEYMOOOOUR!!
    10. Steamed Hams at 00:49 — Skinner 00:49 Skinner Superintendent! I was just... uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric excersize! Care to join me?
    11. Steamed Hams at 00:55 — Superintendent 00:55 Superintendent Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
    12. Steamed Hams at 00:58 — Skinner 00:58 Skinner Uh... Oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam! Steam from the Steamed Clams we're having! Mmm... Steamed Clams!
    13. Steamed Hams at 01:07 — Skinner 01:07 Skinner Whew...
    14. Steamed Hams at 01:11 — Skinner 01:11 Skinner Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!
    15. Steamed Hams at 01:14 — Superintendent 01:14 Superintendent I thought we were having Steamed Clams.
    16. Steamed Hams at 01:17 — Skinner 01:17 Skinner D'oh, no! I said Steamed Hams! That's what I call hamburgers!
    17. Steamed Hams at 01:21 — Superintendent 01:21 Superintendent You call hamburgers "Steamed Hams?"
    18. Steamed Hams at 01:23 — Skinner 01:23 Skinner Yes! It's a... regional dialect.
    19. Steamed Hams at 01:26 — Superintendent 01:26 Superintendent Uh-huh. Eh, what region?
    20. Steamed Hams at 01:28 — Skinner 01:28 Skinner Uh... upstate New York?
    21. Steamed Hams at 01:29 — Superintendent 01:29 Superintendent Really? Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "Steamed Hams."
    22. Steamed Hams at 01:34 — Skinner 01:34 Skinner Oh, not in Utica, no, it's an Albany expression.
    23. Steamed Hams at 01:37 — Superintendent 01:37 Superintendent I see.
    24. Steamed Hams at 01:40 — Superintendent 01:40 Superintendent Y'know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
    25. Steamed Hams at 01:43 — Skinner 01:43 Skinner Oh ho ho ho, no! Patented Skinnerburgers! Old family recipe!
    26. Steamed Hams at 01:49 — Superintendent 01:49 Superintendent ...for Steamed Hams?
    27. Steamed Hams at 01:51 — Skinner 01:51 Skinner Yes!
    28. Steamed Hams at 01:52 — Superintendent 01:52 Superintendent Yes, and you call them Steamed Hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled?
    29. Steamed Hams at 01:57 — Skinner 01:57 Skinner Y- uh... Y'know, t-... One thing I sh-... 'scuse me for one second.
    30. Steamed Hams at 02:04 — Superintendent 02:04 Superintendent Of course.
    31. Steamed Hams at 02:06 — Skinner 02:06 Skinner [Yawn] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
    32. Steamed Hams at 02:11 — Superintendent 02:11 Superintendent Yes, I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?
    33. Steamed Hams at 02:15 — Skinner 02:15 Skinner Aurora Borealis.
    34. Steamed Hams at 02:16 — Superintendent 02:16 Superintendent Ah- AURORA BOREALIS. AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!?
    35. Steamed Hams at 02:26 — Skinner 02:26 Skinner Yes!
    36. Steamed Hams at 02:28 — Superintendent 02:28 Superintendent ...May I see it?
    37. Steamed Hams at 02:30 — Skinner 02:30 Skinner ...No.
    38. Steamed Hams at 02:32 — Skinner's Mother 02:32 Skinner's Mother SEYMOUR! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
    39. Steamed Hams at 02:34 — Skinner 02:34 Skinner No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights.
    40. Steamed Hams at 02:37 — Superintendent 02:37 Superintendent Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you Steam a good Ham.
    41. Steamed Hams at 02:45 — Skinner's Mother 02:45 Skinner's Mother HEEELP! HEEEEELP!

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