ChoicerVoicer

Shrek 1 - Muffin Man

61 lines · 3:53 · 1280×720

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Shrek 1 - Muffin Man

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All lines

    About this scene

    Farquaad's greatest hits, back to back: the Gingerbread Man interrogation — 'Run run run, as fast as you can' delivered as a threat, gumdrop buttons in peril — straight into the Magic Mirror's dating-show pitch that ends on Princess Fiona. Five roles across sixty-one lines, from Gingy's milk-dunked squeak to the Mirror's game-show purr: the biggest cast and, at 233 seconds, the longest session in the library — the one pack we let run past the usual three-minute cap. Pace yourself; this is a feature-film audition, not a sprint.

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    1:20

    Every line in this pack

    The full script, so you know what you are getting into before you press record.

    1. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:00 — Gingerbread Man 00:00 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: *drowning sounds*”
    2. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:03 — Lord Farquaad 00:03 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: That's enough! He's ready to talk. ”
    3. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:06 — Gingerbread Man 00:06 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: *choking and coughing*”
    4. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:10 — Lord Farquaad 00:10 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: *laughing*”
    5. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:15 — Lord Farquaad 00:15 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: AHEM!”
    6. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:19 — Lord Farquaad 00:19 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Run run run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man! ”
    7. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:25 — Gingerbread Man 00:25 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: You're a monster!”
    8. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:27 — Lord Farquaad 00:27 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: I'm not a monster here - you are!”
    9. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:29 — Lord Farquaad 00:29 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: You and the rest of that fairytale trash poisoning my perfect world.”
    10. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:34 — Lord Farquaad 00:34 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Now tell me, WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?”
    11. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:35 — Gingerbread Man 00:35 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: EAT ME! *spits*”
    12. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:36 — Lord Farquaad 00:36 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: NARGH!”
    13. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:38 — Lord Farquaad 00:38 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: I've tried to be fair to you creatures, now my patience has REACHED ITS END! Tell me or I'll...!”
    14. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:44 — Gingerbread Man 00:44 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: NOOO, not the buttons...not my gumdrop ...buttons. ”
    15. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:48 — Lord Farquaad 00:48 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: ALRIGHT THEN, who's hiding them?”
    16. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:50 — Gingerbread Man 00:50 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: Okay, I'll tell you...do you know the muffin man?”
    17. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:55 — Lord Farquaad 00:55 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?”
    18. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:56 — Gingerbread Man 00:56 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: The muffin man”
    19. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 00:57 — Lord Farquaad 00:57 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Yes...I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?”
    20. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:01 — Gingerbread Man 01:01 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: Well, she's married to the muffin man.”
    21. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:04 — Lord Farquaad 01:04 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?!”
    22. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:05 — Gingerbread Man 01:05 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: THE MUFFIN MAN!”
    23. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:07 — Lord Farquaad 01:07 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man...”
    24. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:09 — Lord Farquaad 01:09 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: *gasp*”
    25. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:09 — Gingerbread Man 01:09 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread man: *gasp*”
    26. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:10 — Guard 01:10 Guard “Guard: My lord! We found it.”
    27. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:12 — Lord Farquaad 01:12 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.”
    28. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:15 — Guard 01:15 Guard “Guard: *grunting*”
    29. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:26 — Guard 01:26 Guard “Guards: *gasping in awe*”
    30. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:27 — Gingerbread Man 01:27 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread Man: *gasping in awe*”
    31. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:29 — Lord Farquaad 01:29 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Magic mirror...”
    32. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:31 — Gingerbread Man 01:31 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread Man: Don't tell him anything! NOOO!”
    33. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:33 — Lord Farquaad 01:33 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: *grunts*”
    34. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:35 — Gingerbread Man 01:35 Gingerbread Man “Gingerbread Man: Owww!”
    35. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:37 — Lord Farquaad 01:37 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Evening...Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?”
    36. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:45 — Mirror 01:45 Mirror “Mirror: Well, technically you're not a king. ”
    37. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:48 — Lord Farquaad 01:48 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Uh, Thelonius.”
    38. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:51 — Lord Farquaad 01:51 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: You were saying?”
    39. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:52 — Mirror 01:52 Mirror “Mirror: What I mean is uh...you're not a king yet, ha!”
    40. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:54 — Mirror 01:54 Mirror “Mirror: But-But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.”
    41. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 01:59 — Lord Farquaad 01:59 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Go on...”
    42. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 02:00 — Mirror 02:00 Mirror “Mirror: Ha...SO, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And hereee they are!”
    43. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 02:13 — Mirror 02:13 Mirror “Mirror: Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella!”
    44. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 02:27 — Mirror 02:27 Mirror “Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snooow White!”
    45. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 02:41 — Mirror 02:41 Mirror “Mirror: And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!”
    46. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 02:58 — Mirror 02:58 Mirror “Mirror: So, will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?”
    47. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:04 — Guard 03:04 Guard “Guards: Two! Two! Three! Three! Two! Two! Three!”
    48. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:05 — Lord Farquaad 03:05 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: *mumbling*”
    49. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:08 — Lord Farquaad 03:08 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Three? One? NNGH Three?”
    50. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:10 — Thelonius 03:10 Thelonius “Thelonius: Three! Pick number three, my lord!”
    51. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:12 — Lord Farquaad 03:12 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: O-Okay, okay, uh...number three!”
    52. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:16 — Mirror 03:16 Mirror “Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.”
    53. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:20 — Guard 03:20 Guard “Guards: *cheering*”
    54. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:24 — Thelonius 03:24 Thelonius “Thelonius: *laughing and clapping*”
    55. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:25 — Lord Farquaad 03:25 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Princess...Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...”
    56. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:32 — Mirror 03:32 Mirror “Mirror: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.”
    57. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:35 — Lord Farquaad 03:35 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: I'll do it!”
    58. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:36 — Mirror 03:36 Mirror “Mirror: Yes, but after sunset...”
    59. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:37 — Lord Farquaad 03:37 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: SILENCE! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have... the perfect king!”
    60. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:37 — Mirror 03:37 Mirror “Mirror: *gasps*”
    61. Shrek 1 - Muffin Man at 03:46 — Lord Farquaad 03:46 Lord Farquaad “Lord Farquaad: Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament!”

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